No one can ever explain the term fatherhood,

No one can ever explain the love you feel the first time you hear your child’s heartbeat.

No can ever explain to you the love you feel when you meet this little person,

No can ever explain the pain you feel when your whole life is stolen from you.

Ask me.

I have felt the pain of my whole life leaving me, this happen to me in March of 2009.

When my (then) wife should have divorced me in 2009, instead told me, we(her and daughter) will be in St. Louis before you know it.

Sure enough…Happy Father’s Day, Happy Birthday Paula! Paula and Indra came to Visit… Happy Thanksgiving(visit my family in New York before my grandfather died), Happy Birthday 7th Indra, Merry Christmas Indra, Happy 9th Anniversary Paula, then My grandfather died March of 2010(saw everyone again) šŸ˜¦ , Happy Birthday Dad, Happy Father’s Day Dad, Indra came to visit me with Paula! Happy Birthday Paula! Then left again, Happy 8th Birthday Indra, Ā Happy New Year Ā Indra 2010, Happy New Year 2011, Happy 10th Anniversary Paula(March 7, 2011), Happy Birthday Dad(got plane tickets to Sweden as my birthday gift from Paula’s mom), The BIG ARRIVED bring Indra home to St. Louis!!!


I have never felt so unwanted by my wife in my life. So felt so cut out. Soon to follow a month later I wanted a divorce. Which happen to be right the day after her BIRTHDAY. Happy Birthday, Paula, you got rid of me. Congrats!

No one told me that when you get divorce, you are going lose,




YOUR EVERYTHING BUT THE APARTMENT (if your lucky to have credit left)

I never felt such heartbreak until Paula used Indra as her chip in this game against me.

All I wanted was to be a DAD.

This clip explains how I feel about fatherhood.

No one can ever understand the pain I felt signing my name to a document to end this battle. Because I couldn’t afford to keep fighting, I spent everything trying to see my daughter, max out every credit card, worked two jobs, worked odd jobs, all to make sure I could afford a better lawyer to fight for Indra.

All for Paula to lie and lie. And tell the judge her mother has cancer to get a passport then goes to Mexico!

It wasn’t about the back support nor the back alimony. It was the fact, Indra told me she DID NOT NEED ME, NOR WANT ME, HATED ME, TOLD ME TO DIE, at the end of the day, I gave Paula what she wanted all along, everything from the house, and Indra.

All I wanted what was fair, time with Indra. Not two weeks a year as Paula had pushed for, in the beginning, I wanted every other weekend, overnights, go to Indra’s events, go her then Girl Scout events, I wanted to BE A DAD.

In the end: I am judged on this decision on April 11, 2016.

I have haters, who track me, cyber stalk me, threaten me and just do NOT understand how I feel about this whole situation.

I learned how to Minecraft so I could surpriseĀ Indra; when came to visit in April of 2014, which she never came. šŸ˜¦

Indra, I am waiting for you to start looking. I am here waiting for youĀ with my arms open for you. Your brother and sisters would love to see you as well. ā¤